It is a heart space rather than a mandate for particular action, e.g. Real love then is the authentic connection we can feel towards ourselves, another, and life itself when we practice paying attention in a different way – more fully present rather than distracted, more complete rather than fragmented, more mindful rather than holding onto old ideas about ourselves or others. In either case, it is important to include ourselves, but cultivating love for ourselves might not be best viewed this as a task we need to complete before we can move on. We may be trying to fill a hole by giving others’ love, or we may simply have trouble receiving the love that others want to give back to us.

If we are not including ourselves in the field of cultivating love and compassion, we may be offering love from a place of hunger rather than abundance. But I believe I have known many who are loving and supportive of others though they don’t give themselves enough attention and care. Just to take one common myth, the kind we need to challenge in exploring love: there is a popular adage these days that we must love ourselves fully before we can love another.

Download how to know if it is real love